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LOL, Wynars syndrome

 
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Korath
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Joined: 24 Sep 2001
Posts: 34
Location: Detroit, MI

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2001 12:55 pm    Post subject: LOL, Wynars syndrome Reply with quote

This was on JOSSH. Very funny :smile:

by Jephara Mis'cl, TRI News Network


All Sectors (TRI-FP)-
WThe neurological disorder known as Wynar's Syndrome continues to afflict a significant number of TRI space pilots, despite the tireless efforts of TRI medical researchers to isolate and eradicate this persistent illness.

Named for it's first known victim - Krannic Wynar, a TRI test pilot from the earliest days of the Beta Intiative -- Wynar's Syndrome produces a peculiar brain-chemical imbalance in those who contract it. Pilots suffering from Wynar's Syndrome (more commonly referred to as "WS") display an aberrant psychology characterized by a chronic and persistent irritability, coupled with an ever-increasing sense of persecution and paranoia.

Pilots afflicted with WS typically rail against TRI and their own place in it. They find fault with almost every aspect of their occupation, and yet they refuse to leave the service, preferring instead to rant and rage against TRI and its officials at every opportunity. They see grand conspiracies of indifference behind each new TRI policy or development - convinced that no one behind the reconstruction initiative cares one whit for the comfort or happiness of the pilots who make TRI possible.

Those who have contracted Wynar's Syndrome seem to reserve their greatest hatred for anything released by the Office for the Promotion of Advanced Technological Systems (or the "PATchS Office", as it is known in military parlance).

Wynar's victims seem convinced that the very part of TRI most interested in improving the living and working conditions for all TRI pilots exists only to frustrate, insult and aggravate them personally. They take each technological prototype or upgrade released as a personal affront - sometimes going so far as to personally slander or provoke the tech teams who work so hard for the benefit of all pilots.

Dr. Sejanus Hycche, the Octavian war hero who presently serves as Chief Surgeon of TRI Medical Division theorizes that Wynar's Syndrome may in fact be a peculiar side effect of the genetic re-engineering, which pilot-candidates must undergo in order to become space pilots.

"It may be," says Hycche, "that the restructuring process somehow encourages the development of Wynar's Syndrome in those individuals whose minds are already prone to irascibility and complaint. It's certainly one of the possibilities we're investigating."

Hycche warns that the prognosis for sufferers of Wynar's Syndrome is not good. "They tend to get worse as time goes on," says the famed war medic.

"Their paranoid delusions eventually reach a feverish intensity, whereupon the victims begin to believe they are speaking on behalf of many, many others, instead of their own unhappy selves. Any who disagree with their views are treated as either fools or enemies."

Dr. Hycche concludes, "Unless Wynar's Syndrome is recognized in its earliest stages, there is very little galactic medicine can do for those affected. TRI Medical advises all pilots to be aware of Wynar's Syndrome, and to seek help should any early symptoms appear."
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MajorFreak
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2001 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

heheh...unfortunately, NetDevil has an attitude that whatever's good for them is good for us. (ie. their priorities are completely independent of ours. though they listen to the issues and suggestions, they seem to ignore completely our priorities)
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Korath
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Joined: 24 Sep 2001
Posts: 34
Location: Detroit, MI

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2001 2:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, i can't really comment on it since I've only really been back in the game for a couple weeks now. Just thought it was funny. :smile:
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sancho
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2001 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Funny, and VERY well done too. I'm curious as to who wrote it.
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MajorFreak
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2001 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Iceman is my first guess.
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MadCat
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2001 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say either Iceman or SamP
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MajorFreak
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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2002 8:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Original JOSSH article
Wynar part 2

Dogbert the Publisher wrote:
Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs. You plot was lame and I hated your characters. By association I have come to hate you too. For safety reasons, I have hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript.
Dogbert wrote:
There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance."
The Pointy Haired Boss sees some actual code wrote:
I saw the code for your computer program yesterday. It looked easy. Its just a bunch of typing. And half of the words were spelt wrong. And dont get me started on your over-use of colons."
Ratbert observes... wrote:
A pessimist says the glass is half empty. An optimist says the glass is half full. And an engineer says its a good thing I put half of my water in a redundant glass."

Flash Animation
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