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US forum -- Heavy Miner -- new parody!

 
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MajorFreak
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2003 6:00 am    Post subject: US forum -- Heavy Miner -- new parody! Reply with quote

ND general forum therad
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
wynar HAHA wynar ROOFLE wynar LMAO
This is the third parody installment featuring yet another counter-counter semantic clarification (CCSC) bitch fest from hell where people play with tiddlywinks and pretend they're movers and shakers of anything but tiddlywinks.

This time around i'm using a new format different from
the first one that was a PJG hissy fit between Nazgul and another squad, here and a second hissy fit on US squad boards, here (both of which used a more free-form style)
    Glossary: The Types of Wynar
    Major Symptom: "I have no clue what i'm talking about, but that doesn't matter cause i sound like i know wtf i'm on about because most people will give my base assumption the benefit of the doubt and not assume i'm a complete TARD for basing an argument not on facts, but opinions (ie. an opinion deals with real concepts and those tend to be the one thing lacking in wynar posts)"

  • TYPE 1; The ThrottleJockeys "I want to eat my cake and have it too!" (ie. a disconnect as to what 'reality' denotes)
    Type 1(a): Don Quixote. This type doesn't understand what a FAQ but that doesn't stop him/her from sticking foot in mouth.
    Type 1(b): BandWagoneer. This type actually believes the opinions based on all shades of lies, rumours and gossip. (in short, they believe in a Myth) This type also includes The FanBoi and the Grammar Nazi.
  • TYPE 2; The Statisticians "woods are boring, trees are fun to stare at!" (ie. a disconnect as to what 'balance' denotes)
    Type 2(a): Mining speeds & cbt gun slots are more important than travel times, "blueball" probabilities & low missile slots when considering noncombat mining ship balance. Includes people who are taking the subject waaaaay too seriously. (takes the "whimsy" approach to uberizing)
    Type 2(b): debates with (2a) on a superficial level. semantics is fun...usually taking the role of Nerfing something (2a) tried to Uberize...Includes people who are taking the subject waaaaay too seriously. (takes the "micromanagement" approach to nerfing)
  • TYPE 3; The Factionalists "trees are boring, woods are fun to stare at" (ie. a disconnect as to what 'deconstruction' denotes)
    Type 3(a): (1st evolutationary stage) Faction roles and bonuses are supposed to uberize a faction in a specific function in all ship classes (takes the 'UBERcookie cutter' approach)
    Type 3(b): debates with (3a) on a superficial level. semantics is fun...usually taking the role of Nerfing something (3a) tried to Uberize. (takes the 'NERFcookie cutter' approach)
  • TYPE 4; The Hijackers "Lo! And God Made Another Forest And It Was Good!" (ie. a disconnect as to what 'debate' denotes)
    Type 4(a): going completely off-topic and hoping people will think one's brought something new and fresh to the debate. Includes those who really don't know what a MMOG stands for. (usually calling for some "WINGAME" button)
    Type 4(b): unlike 4(a) this hijacker pretends to say on topic...These people truly are the Wynars because they just COMPLAIIIIIIN...Tards who are terrified of risks, live with mommy and deliberately act like a pussies. Includes those who really don't know what a MMOG stands for. (usually calling for some "WINGAME" button)
  • TYPE 5; Smart Ass "[FART!]" (ie. a disconnect as to what 'Serious' denotes)
    Type 5(a): Clown. The practical joker. Mr. Sarcasm with wild and crazy ideas like whoopie cushions in a supposedly serious thread, but fail because the thread is retarded and the whole thing's comic relief.
    Type 5(b): Jester. They think their god's gift to serious farts everywhere and attempt to "lighten up the mood" (sometimes called the cynical samaritan)
  • TYPE 6; Samaritan "Hari Krishna!" (ie. a disconnect as to what 'Irony' denotes)
    Type 6(a): (1st evolutionary stage) Samaritan -- Hero. Poor naive fools deluded into thinking saying something wise and deep wins friends and influences people. (ie. a skunk)
    Type 6(b): Samaritan -- Antihero. Hypocritical naive fools wyning about the wynars. Major symptom is dismissing all current balance concerns and calls for more new stuff in the hope that'll turn over a new leaf.
  • TYPE 7; Troll. What is a troll? A troll will deliberately use any shade of a LIE to forment dissenting opinions. ('Agent Provocateur'; 'Demogogue')...Hardly has an agenda to speak of other than stated (ie. lies)
    Type 7(a): The MENSA Troll. This type will hide his/her Chameleon act very well, consistently mimicing any of the above types while using politically correct language to merely insult others and further their agenda (ie. lies)
    Type 7(b): The SOCK-PUPPET Troll. This one is an amateur who gets caught mimicing more than one of the above types because they aren't consistent in their "Roleplay"...This type tend to go flying off the handle (politically incorrect) and even tries debating between various split personalities in an attempt to support whatever crazed agenda they're on. (ie. lies)
AN NOW...LET THE PARODY BEGIN!

Cartman -- Statistician (b) wrote:
it seems octavians have bigger guns.
Valen --Factionalist (a) wrote:
If anyone should have the mining laser advantage, it should be the rock licker's.
R2D2 -- Hijacker (b) wrote:
how are the oct going to fight off the flux with out a gun
Brutus -- ThrottleJockey (a) wrote:
Imagine your in the G-force chair of the airforce where they spin you around very very fast to increase the G's on your body.
dead_man -- Samaritan (a) wrote:
you guys are alright!
Haltyr -- Statistician (a) wrote:
waits for people to yell...Dont listen to them
SLJ_Wampa -- Statistician (b) wrote:
The octs who have the most armor should not have the biggest shield
CytoPro -- Factionalist (a) wrote:
They seem very balanced, almost to the point of cookie-cutterish.
At this point we give Wampa an award for first double post. weeeeeee
CytoPro -- Factionalist (a) wrote:
The Octs do not have this, they opt for more firepower (typical). Besides, the Alpaa (sz3) has a slight advantage in recharge vs the Makk (sz4)...
with that second sentence, Cyto also gets the award for describing an insignificant statistical divergence as a difference instead of similarity.
Losar -- Factionalist (a) wrote:
I feel their proposals are not representative of the individual factions

arrow Meanwhile, intelligent beings might start wondering if the Octavian uberness is to counterbalance the Wyvern. (aka. "Turkey")...but the subject is an actual CONCEPT and being thus has not and will not appear, unless a miracle happens.
Dr_Who --Hijacker (a) wrote:
so let's have some more missiles.
Dr_Who is gets a commendation for the first person to pretend to be at least one another type (1, 2a & 3a) and failing miserably..remember, kids, always look before you leap.
R2D2 -- Hijacker (b) wrote:
unless we like to take chances with the flux we can only mine with one port.
Malawar -- Samaritan (b) wrote:
Balance is not that critical on a non PvP ship anyway.
Pez -- Hijacker (a) wrote:
sols are supposed to have better shields, not octs. they have more armor which compensates for the weaker shields (scout as example). any why would a mining ship have better shields than a bomber?
Award for most slick attempt at bomber uberization and general fuddyduddying.
Gohlem -- Hijacker (b) wrote:
Why should people have to use a Tow to get the mining medals?
Myth: It is not one's own fault that one is a complete and utter tard.
:!: Suddenly dead_man snaps out of his funk and starts preaching common sense...All bets are off whether he'll succeed. since we know he won't dead_man gets an award from the 'Dumb Ass Samaritans of the Month' club.
Haltyr -- Statistician (a) wrote:
I think that the 2 size 1 guns should be made into size 2s
ahaha...he gets the award for first person to attempt a debate with another type altogether.
TheZapper -- Statistician (a) wrote:
<-- Hopes Sz6 Minings Laser faster or equal to 2 x Sz5.
corndog -- ThrottleJockey (a) wrote:
it seems to me that the hold capacity should be large enough to get the medals associated with mining.
Ntwadumela -- Statistician (a) wrote:
Balance is good, but equal is kind of boring. The Quantar HM should be the best overall.
StarDruid -- Hijacker (b) wrote:
I never plan to get my mining medals because mining in a tow is way to slow
HiTekHick -- Smart Ass (a) wrote:
*Goes off to dreamland thinking about the biggest mining spoon that could exist...*
Myth: Being known as a Test Pilot AND and unhinged loon is really really really good for the morale of the unwashed masses
Pyrophred --ThrottleJockey (a) wrote:
i think the quants are gettin screwed.
Pyro's such a nice dude he even proposed boosts to all the ships' gun loadouts. yeahh!! <3 Ends up looking like a total throttle jockey with big clanking roids of uranium. (ie. type1; saaaaaay, what's "mining? that where you like spin around alot and mine like uber while puking?")
puke
Cyco959 -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
I agree fully with Losar
AIIEEEEEEE!! RUN IT'S A FANBOI!
Greenfire -- Troll (b) wrote:
I think that the...
He gets the "Turkey" award for attempting to proxy nerf the Oct HM in the same vein as the Wyvern is. (not to mention trying to create a battle tow)...
arrow Now, we say goodbye to ever seeing a real concept (like "oct HF is uber to counterbalance the oct Tranny") since it'll never happen now. too much BS. Besides, that's too obvious and nobody wants to look like an ND fanboi. (and noone wants to be called a troll for dissing ND either)
Losar -- Factionalist (a) wrote:
I would hav eto disagree there Greenfire
First person dumb enough to argue with a troll.
:!: There's a disturbance as Cay flames the troll with a quote from JOSSH thus upstaging Losar. How ironic it's not exactly a smart thing quoting an official source.
dead_man -- Samaritan (a) wrote:
leave it be
Our dear samaritan is obviously panicking and careens into a double post...The lurkers slow down to stare at the horrible wreckage.

...
Greenfire -- Troll (b) wrote:
After reading thru the posts up to here, I would like to reevaluate my position.
Revealing his true colours, Greenfire decides to start believing his own lies...most likely thinking noone will notice (he just said the same damned thing he did last time but hyped) because all the lurkers are still in shock from staring at the car wreck. (always a sign of Derek Smart fanboi-ness)
Myth: Creating a Frankenstein does a god make you
arrow At this point the disconnect between missile slots and gun loadouts becomes self-replicating, so much so that everyone now accepts the "disconnect" as the new connotation of 'balance' as the core of the non-existent debate over anything but tiddlywinks...Also, the other theme that's being debated is Faction roles (ie. Angels on the head of a pin debate)...Now things can really get going! weeeeeee
Tezza -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
now that would not be unreasonable to get those changes would it?
Tpal -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
I dont belive the new heavey minner should have size one lazers. Especialy for the Quant and Sol to carry the same Ammount and type of lazers is a little strange as quants are supposed to have an advantage in minning.
The crowd cheers (or is that booing?) as Tezza & Tpal share the "Most Selfish Wynar" medal, and get points for synchronized whining.
StarDruid -- Smart Ass (a) wrote:
hehe make the quant one 6|3|3 that way I cna have my big mining lazer and 2 feathers or hitman
Fido -- Factionalist (b) wrote:
I don't mind giving the varying faction ships some movement away from the "typical" RP of their faction, but it does seem these fly far away from what would be expected for them.
And for that he's given the "Person most in need of coffee" award
:!: Now comes proof that perhaps Grammar Nazis are Type 1b...
Losar -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
Fido, As of right now all ECMs are size one
ROFL Didn't anyone remind him recent EP2 FAQs mentioned something about ECMs? Will they? maybe. who cares! hahaa stupid thread.
Wild_Bill -- Statistician (a) wrote:
Heavy miners should have larger cargo holds (for the mining medals). I'd also like to see the Oct have either two sz2 gun slots added or a single sz 3 for light to moderate flux
TexMurphy -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
Personally I feel that the Quants should be really uber here.
Jerico21 -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
The "temp" stats as they are now aren't acceptable. With the changes i proposed it would bring balance, I think, to those ships.
in comes Jerico21 dressed in statistician clothing and spouting factionalist diatribes...It's so painfully obvious at this point that he probably read the entire thread more for the entertainment value than anything else. It's hard to classify someone like this other than a fanboi of the current bandwagon (ie "anything's good as long as i don't look like i'm giving ND an easy time")...Of course, then there's the one's who keep it simple and just hop on board the bandwagon without the fanfare...
Pappy1 -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
Quants should be UBER miners. Oct and smurf ship look fine to me.

:!: here's something interesting. it looks like the following poster proves my theory that grammar nazi's are type 1b...
DicE_BAR -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
The amount of guns, missiles and engines can't be changed!...........Gun loadout: Quants should excel in extracting, IMHO. 6:2:2 sounds alot better.
Dice is also noted for being the first to use COLORS
TexMurphy -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
Yes Dice_Bar is correct...But...
Liet -- Factionalist (b) wrote:
Arguing that the sol vessel should have the most doesn't jive, since this is a vessel designed to mine, and not haul cargo for profit.
TexMurphy -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
Yepp liet is right Solrain cargo is made for cargo hauling not mining.
Hot damn! these bandwagoneers sure as hell start to all sound very much like Factionalist (b) types.
hm
Malawar wrote:
OK, I'm gonna revise my previous opinion a bit here. Overall I still think the stats are fine and I still like the idea that these ships break the mold a bit. Hey, you put three different design groups on a job, you never know what you are going to get in the end.

Where my opinon might shift depends on the ship's overall dimentions in relations to a tow. If these heavy miners are bigger than a tow, and it would be realistic, then I think the cargo room should be increased on all three ships (I don't care who has more). It would be nice for these ships to have enough to complete the medals, but if they don't then no biggie. I do think the cargo is a bit on the small side if the ship's proportions would indicate more available space. Yes I know the tows have a cargo pod and stuff, so I don't expect them to match the tows cargo room. I just think they could probably do with a bit more cargo room.

A few screen shots next to a tow would go a long way to see if extra cargo room is a realistic expecation (HINT HINT Virgil !!!????)
The ships look huge compared to the light miner, but it would help to give it proportions if we could see it next to a tow.
8O wow. it's a miracle! somebody actually described a real concept! (took them 47 replies and 730 views) Will this trend for sanity catch on, folks? stay tuned next week for another episode! same bat time same bat channel.



:construction:

    There's been no talk of the Concept behind the Heavy Miner, no serious discussion as to statistical and factional subconcepts...Really is a shame how people just don't give a poop about describing their personal concept of the proposed ship blueprints.
    Quote:
    Description
    Definition: Definition elaborates on the meaning of a term. It may identify features, uses, relationships with other known objects, events, or ideas.
    Division and Classification: Division distinguishes the parts or members of an object or class. Classification relates groups of objects, events, or ideas according to a principle of similarity.
    Comparison and Contrast: Comparison generally highlights similarities among two or more entities, while contrast emphasizes differences.
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MajorFreak
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2003 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahaha...back to the soon-to-be flame war over mining. lol
DicE_BAR -- ThrottleJockey (b) wrote:
If the topspeeds are kept lower than the tow, I have no problem with as-large-as-tow holds.
Liet -- Factionalist (b) wrote:
I'm a little disappointed with the s4s on these HMs. I'd hoped the designers would understand by now that when mining, thrust is much more valuable than top speed.
above poster is the first to make a really big omission, probably in the hopes of snaring a "grammar nazi" who thinks he meant anything but "increase the engine sizes and dragrate" (at least i hope he's saying that or else he's an idiot who believes engines have nothing to do with thrust)
Sykosys000 -- Samaritan (a) wrote:
CHANGE NOTHING!!!!!!! But thats just my opinion.
RG-HAWK -- Factionalist (a) wrote:
please, did you forget that Quantar is Mining faction in JG?

At this point, GM_Virgil arrives to clear up some things. you can find that on the EP2 FAQ, here.

As of current date the whole thread became more serious and less entertaining. if it picks up again i'll finish the parody job. *g* (don't forget to check out the two earlier parodies i did. links located at the top of the first post)
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ZeroZ95
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2003 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so disappointed the parody stoped just short of my uber-long post!

I demand to be mocked!

*looks nervously around*

What?

Z
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MajorFreak
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2003 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i dunno. depends if the mood changes. Mine...i'm tired. lol (don't worry, Pardec's flacid, impotent dick deserves a good roasting)
    muhahahaaaaa Eat Steel! Hmmm...methinks i need to make a choice first..hmm
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Lilith
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Joined: 27 Jan 2003
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2003 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*wanders out of mysts of JG past*

ROFL!

Muffy, thanks for the new Muffery! Reading this was worth registering here. Keep up the good work--scary how good, though, since I no longer read jossh--but I do read the summaries you write (they do make so much more sense!).

*wanders back into the land of backrubs and coco loco-s*
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Nicator
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2003 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If they keep it up it's just possible that we might end up with battletows with more firepower than the heavy fighters :D
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